Here we are the precipice of a new year. 2018. It seems like something from a sci-fi novel, but these days the world seems more backwards and antiquated than ever. I, in turn, cling to the past tightly, myself. I’m sitting in my apartment now with a lit Christmas tree illuminating my keyboard, listening to a cut from an LP from 2011 on my scratched clickwheel iPod. I’m fighting new encroaching technology tooth-and-nail, and for no real purpose, it seems. I’m just set in my ways, I suppose.

But, it being a new year and time for reflection and projection, I am staring down the barrel of 2018 with ideas on how I can better myself and/or the world around me. First and foremost, I want to create more this year. I’m pretty sure I’ve said this just about every year since I’ve started making resolutions, so it’d be juvenile of me to say “but this time it’ll be different.”

Whether it’ll be different or not, I at least have some projects in place to get me started. I’ve been working with a producer in town who is likewise pushing himself to create new things by learning programming in Ableton and together we’re composing songs to release later this year once we have an EP’s worth. I have several ideas in the pipeline to add to my YouTube Channel, www.youtube.com/mceric2010 to supplement the minimal programming I’ve already dumped there. Gumption and wife permitting, I might even make it on to a stand-up stage this year, but honestly that’s not near the top of my list.

What is at the top is writing. I didn’t write anything in 2017. Actually, that’s not true. I wrote the content for the few YouTube videos I put up and I wrote the lyrics for the first song from the new joint venture, but I haven’t written a story or poem or original solo song or script for over a year. I have the submission calendars for Glimmer Train and The Masters Review saved in my e-mail inbox in the event that I actually get around to writing a new story, which I would very much like to do.

I am working ceaselessly these days at my job. It is mildly rewarding, adequately compensating, and has the potential for upward mobility and more earnings. But it’s not my heart. I want to create. It’d be ideal to make a living from it, but at 39 years old, I’m a bit beyond ideals. This year I will turn 40, which I of course see as my inevitable death just rapping lightly on my soul, asking if I’m all packed and ready to go yet. If I’m to climb in the carriage, there are a few more arrangements that need to be made first.

Which means I can’t spend as much time idle, which is contradictory to my advancing age and increasing comfort in resting sedentary. I recently have found myself immobilized for hours on end by video list articles on Facebook. I’ll see one in my feed that looks entertaining, and as it concludes I’ll see that the next video is already loading up. I’ll feel as though I’m doing myself a disservice if I don’t at least stick around to see what the article is about, and, sure enough, the algorithm has done its due diligence and it is in fact a topic that I am bewilderingly interested. It isn’t until 4 hours have passed and I’ve accomplished nothing aside from further exhausting myself that I snap from my trance and think “Why did I watch a ‘Where Are They Now?’ video about the cast of Mean Girls? And what compelled me to watch all seven minutes of that video on the unfairness of internet makeup tutorials for the current generation?” I even went so far as to watch an 11 minute video of all the cut scenes from a video game that I’ve already played from start to finish.

So, yeah. That needs to be curbed. I need to quit smoking, start working out, watching what I eat, adapt a more mature sleep schedule, make more time for my wife, friends, and family, and start saving money. Yes, you read that right: START saving money.

Seriously, whoever made me an adult should be fired.

So, going into 2018, it is my resolution to budget my time more effectively to incorporate work, family, creativity, entertainment, and distraction. That’s right: I’m cutting down on watching stupid internet videos, but not cutting them out entirely.

In fact, here’s my newest obsession, a 17 second video that is never not funny:

Seriously, whoever made me an adult should be fired.